Kalindra's Rules of Magic

#1: Magic, probability and your lifespan are all related to each other.
    Those Mage's who forget this simple relation are easy to identify
    because they leave behind large craters filled with their remains,
    if any.

#2: Early in your life, find a Healer who knows their job and make them
    either a friend or your lifemate.  No matter how careful you are,
    they will end up saving your life more often then you can possibly
    imagine.

#3: If you're looking for excitement, look someplace else.  The only
    emotion magic generates with regularity is pure terror, usually
    as you stare at the results of a shattered spell that is trying
    to kill you!

#4: The day will come when you will be tempted to use your skill for
    revenge against a non-mage.  What you do on that day will either
    confirm the reasons I accepted you as my apprentice, or require
    your death by my own hand.

#486c: "Mages work better when fed large quantities of cookies," purred
       Kal.  <slap!> "I SAID MAGES ..." "Ouch!  I heard you the first time!"
       I yelled as I checked the oven and guarded the frosting.  "Damn sugar
       addict ..."

Brian's Rules of Magic

#1: "Never listen to anyone who is either shorter than yourself, or
    furry.  They never have the faintest idea what ..." <ouch!>
    "You promised me no more claws!"  "So I lied," replied Kalindra.
    "Now get it right this time."

#1A: "Kalindra is always right.  I shall not ever argue with Kalindra,
     because to argue with her is to imply that she might be wrong."
     I gave out a small sigh as her claws retracted.  "Much better,"
     she said with a grin.